Monday, October 17, 2011

Of Birth-Days.....

 For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You,
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
Psalm 139:13-16 

"She is here! :-)" 

3:00 a.m. text from my son this morning.

And so begins the earthly life of this precious little girl, our first granddaughter.
The littlest MacInnis woman.

As of this moment, we don't know her name.  Her folks don't know her name.  But God does.  He has known her from before the foundation of the world.  And He knows all the days that were ordained for her.  They are written in His book.  What an awesome thing that is.

We went to get a glimpse of her this afternoon.  She was swaddled and buried in sweet blankets, sleeping soundly.  Another day she will be held and we will stand amazed at her fingers and toes and her eyes and nose.  And I will share pictures then.  :-)

It has been a rather sober and nostalgic day for me at the same time as one of great joy at new life coming into our family.

Our Shannon, the youngest of our seven in heaven, would have been fourteen this month.  Her due date was tomorrow.  My youngest daughter and my first granddaughter could very well have shared a birthday.

God in His wisdom ordained the days of our Shannon, just as He has for each of us.  Her purpose is being carried out in His Kingdom, out of our sight for now, but nevertheless ordained by Him.  Her days were written in His book just as mine and yours and our granddaughter's are.  No mistakes.  He is incapable of error.  All He does is out of His infinite love for each of us.  And I love that.  And my granddaughter.  :-)

Welcome to the world, little Miss MacInnis!
(Well, not-so-little!  9 pounds 14 ounces and 21 1/2 inches long.)

Friday, October 14, 2011

Paradigm Shift

It's been an interesting week.  After the crash and burn of last Sunday, I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying over how to do life now.  From as far back as I can remember, I've been a go-er and a do-er.  Accomplishment- and achievement-oriented from the word go.  Always in motion.  Caring for those I love.  Spending myself for them.  Never without something to do.  Boredom is an unknown to me.  "Being" is an art I have not learned well.  "Needing" is a formidable hurdle for me.

With that being the framework of my life, I am facing a paradigm shift.  In fact, I'm in the middle of it.

I HAVE to slow down.  I CANNOT do what I once did.  Period.

Okay, I'm asking myself, what does that look like?  How do I do it?

Well, my doctor gave me a guideline that I had put on the back burner....typical of me, I'm afraid, when it comes to the "doing" part of my life.  He said that I need to limit myself to doing 50-70% of what I normally feel I can do, probably closer to the 50% mark, in an attempt to limit the stress factor and promote healing.  Last week I pushed myself way beyond that, probably somewhere in the 100% range.  On Sunday, my body said, "Enough already!" and down I went.

So, for the past few days, I have worked at that 50% thing.  Making my to-do list, prioritizing, and then crossing off half of it.  It's an interesting exercise.  By today, I kinda had the hang of what I could do before I made the list.  It was short.  :-)  I've also worked at the resting thing.  Getting to bed earlier, lying down for a  rest in the afternoon.  And the slowing down thing, purposely poking along through my day, rather than racing.

A couple of things have hit me in the past few days.  Because I have to dial back -- way back -- I am looking at what I must do and what I can do, and casting aside the other stuff.  It gives definition to my days.  I must care for myself.  I can cook and do laundry and clean the house for my family.  Beyond that, I often must say "no."

I feel in some ways as if I'm restarting my life as a wife and mom, focusing on making home a delightful place for my husband and daughter who are the ones going out and working.  Because I can't help pay the bills with employment, I have the blessing of trying to create a refuge for them for their hours here.  By dialing back, I am focusing on the elemental things of hearth and home.  And it feels good.

Today I had a rather intriguing experience.  I was slowly dusting the sideboard, a beautiful piece that once belonged to my grandmother, and realized that I could enjoy the process of cleaning it and maintaining its loveliness, rather than racing through it as simply a task needing to be done.  Wow. 

So, there are a lot of other thoughts going through my head from my thinking and praying this week, but I'm going to stop now and maybe write more on another day.  It's time to start winding down.  :-)

Monday, October 10, 2011

I need no explanation.....

"What the Father has done is the best, because He has done it,
and I pray that I may not cast about for an explanation.
It suggests a lack of confidence in Him
if I find it necessary to understand all He does.
Will it not bring Him greater joy to tell Him
that I need no explanation because I know Him?"
Frank Houghton

So, Boomer is off to Ecola.  Yesterday we were set to take off to go down with him when my back went out.  Like, right as we were getting things in the car.  It wasn't one of those times I could tough it out, so the rest of the family went and I stayed home.  It was a hard thing for me.  I so wanted to be there.  To hug him and bless him as he began his time on a new adventure.  So, I did that here at home before they left.  And Jessie took lots of pictures of the day and I got to "see" things, too.

Today, after yesterday's experience and then the added weariness of a stomach bug attacking me in the night while my back was still hurting, I was reading in Amy Carmichael's "Roses from Brier" which has blessed me with truth on many, many occasions.  Today was no exception.  The truth that I need no explanation.  I need not understand all He does.  I need only know Him.  That applies so well to yesterday.  To last night.  What He has done is the best, simply because HE did it (or at least allowed it).  I must rest in that or drive myself crazy.  :-)

So, here are some pictures of the day yesterday.  And, if you are interested, Boomer has started a blog himself to chronicle his days at Ecola.  I love that!

The school is located within the Conference Grounds.

The Beautiful Campus

Signing In

Ad Dorm


The Room

Fun at the Park


Maggie's handiwork to include me!
Bless her.

And now I get the fun of following his blog!!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

The Wheels of Time......

I haven't posted here for quite some time, obviously.  I've mostly been over at Sisters For Mom, chronicling my health journey.  But today I need to be here.

My youngest is heading off to Ecola Bible School tomorrow.  Ten years ago this weekend, my oldest embarked on her Ecola adventure.  Eight years ago, it was our older son.  My own was decades ago in 1975.  It has become almost a family tradition.

But there's something about the youngest, this delightful-child-turned-man, that touches something in me.  It's not a letting go thing.  I've not struggled inordinately with that as my kids have grown and started their own lives.  It's more a poignancy of the remnants of childhood floating away.  A changing of the guard, sort of.

And there's the "missing him" part.  Of course.  :-)

I send him off, both of us cloaked with the promise of Isaiah 54:13:

"All your sons will be taught of the LORD;
And the well-being of your sons will be great."


 Boomer with his daddy in 1994 on the California Coast.

Cannon Beach in 2003

Current shot of him drumming at a band gig.
And he's good.  :-)