Believing vs. Knowing

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Not too long ago, some dear people observed that I say "I know" a lot.  I don't mean those times when someone is talking and I'm agreeing with them.  This is more in the realm of, "I know thus and such about God." Or, "I know this and that about myself and my family."  Or, "I know there are things going on in the spiritual realm of which I'm unaware." 

After that observation, I have realized how much I do say "I know...."  And it has shown me some things about myself.

Yesterday I read a quotation that stopped me in my tracks.  Okay, I was lying down, so I guess it really didn't stop any forward motion of my person, but it made me think.

"We act out what we believe.  Not what we know."  Vickie Arruda

Belief.  As opposed to knowledge.  I know a lot of things about God.  His Word is full of amazing descriptions of Him.  But do I believe them?  REALLY believe them?  And, more importantly, do my actions flow from that belief?

"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him."  Hebrews 11:6

I want to be pleasing to Him.  I want my actions to reveal that I truly believe Him as opposed to just knowing who He is.

So, I'm focusing on believing these 5 things:

1. God is Who He says He is.
2. God can do what He says He can do.
3. I am who God says I am.
4. I can do all things through Christ.
5. God's Word is alive and active in me.

(Thank you, Beth Moore and your Believing God study.  Amazing. Every time!)

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"Doing" & "Being"

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The Lord and I have been working on me learning to "be," ala  Mary of Bethany. (Luke 10:38-42)

"Don't keep trying to figure everything out (about what He wants me to learn), just sit at My feet and BE.

So, I'm trying.  At this point, it's a little easier, because I am having a hard time really doing much of anything physically with my back as it is, but I still wrestle in my mind.  "What can I do to hear from the Lord? What can I do to know Him better? Love Him?  Feel His love?  How can I know what He wants here?" 

It's really rather pointless of me to worry this stuff to death, because the way He has been working in my life is to drop stuff on me when I least expect it, and make clear to me things about Himself, about me, about my situation.  No effort on my part.  At all.

So, I'm working on choosing the good part, of sitting at His feet and listening to His word.  Like Mary did.
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More Spring

So, on Sunday I spent a lot of the day moving pretty slowly.  The sun was out, though. and I kept thinking about the horse pasture.  After watching the birds and cloud rainbows above me in the sky while lying on the trampoline, I decided to go give it a shot and see if I might capture some of the spring beauty that Boomer had been telling me about.

The first thing I found was a patch of trillium, which never ceases to thrill me.  And both white and purple, to boot!









Then I spotted some wild strawberry plants.  There were quite a few of them creeping through the leaves and greenery.

Then I found this.  We wait every spring for the emergence of these beautiful wild iris.  I wish I could capture the scent and share that, as well.  It is so amazing and says "Spring!" better than any other fragrance of the season.

The salmon berry bushes are blooming now and the color of their blossoms is so unique.  I delight in spotting the bright petals in the denseness of the green undergrowth.

And I really didn't want to miss a good long gaze at the mountain.  To my delight, the neighbors have gotten more cows, and they were grazing right in my way.

Back in our vegetable garden, I found these chives going to flower.  Isn't God amazing?  I love what He does in a garden.

And here is a better shot of that amazing tulip with green in the petals (from last week)..


I am so glad I live in the northwest!

Delight........

The other day I was talking with a sweet couple about their own experiences with feeling the love and passion of God for them, and their love for Him.  This is something I'm chasing after: experiencing the love of God in my heart.  Not just my head.  They both had some cool things to share, one of them being the aspect of recognizing God's grace.

While we were talking, their firstborn 2 1/2-month-old daughter started crying.  I watched as distraction crossed their faces and then a complete change of focus and a dash to her side to soothe and comfort her.  They both had such looks of concern and devotion on their faces.  At the time, I smiled and remembered what that was like for me with my firstborn: alert to every sound and mood.

Then yesterday, as I was going over and writing down some of the things that had struck me from our conversation, the Lord reminded me of Psalm 18:19 -- "He rescued me because He delighted in me."

Some things kinda clicked into place for me.  Not long ago, some dear people were praying over me, and one of the things they were speaking was the word "beloved," broken down to 'Be Loved.'

"Be Loved," they said.  "Know that when you were born, God held you and marveled over you and adored you."  Like a firstborn.  Like my friends who are so tuned in to the cry of their tiny daughter that all else flees in the face of her need.  They rescue her because they delight in her.  Wow.

Once again the Lord has surprised me with fresh truth.  Like a first-time parent, He rescued me because He delighted in me.  Whoa.  I'll take that.

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Sunny Spring

Yesterday, the mountain came out.  It is always an event when she does.  We can see both Ranier and St. Helens from our property when the clouds part, but Ranier is my favorite.  She is just so magnificent.

When I went for a walk to take her picture, I came across some bleeding hearts in the woods.  Boomer tells me the trillium are all over the horse pasture, but I haven't made it out there yet.  Next sunny day.

  
On the way back in, I passed Maggie's bee hive.  The bees are happy and healthy.  She checked the boxes in the afternoon, and they are rather full of new bees.  She'll be adding more boxes and frames later this week.  Her honey is amazing.  We're blessed.

  Just outside our front door, there is a riot of tulips.  Jessie says she splurged last year and bought this one tulip bulb!  The picture doesn't actually do it justice.  There is green in the petals, as well as pink and white.  It's really rather stunning.

These were my splurge a couple of years ago and we've been enjoying them for a few weeks now.  I'm so glad they stayed around for awhile.

On the kitchen windowsill, my begonia is going at it, and it cheers me while I work in the kitchen.  I'm so grateful for flowers.  And mountains.

Abandon your heart......

Abandonment has been a theme around here lately. I don't mean getting left somewhere when you shouldn't have been. I mean the abandonment that God longs for from us. The abandonment where we run full-tilt and launch ourselves from 12 feet back into His lap and arms. Just like a little child who has no fear of a trusted family friend who shows up at the door, and running for all she's worth, leaps into their arms. Completely trusting, unafraid, joyful, delighted. Even unbecoming. (Thank you, Dear.)

I'm discovering I have a problem with this. Over the period of my life, I have built defenses that look something like, "I have to have it all together," and "I have to do this myself." No room for help from another corner. Of course, that's pretty ridiculous. I am only alive because God gives me my next breath (and a million other functions my body has to complete every minute). I can't do it myself. And I don't have it all together.

Awhile back, the Lord was working on letting me know that I don't have to have it all together, even though that's what has been embedded in me for years. Brennan Manning's writings helped me understand "The poor (in spirit) man and woman of the Gospel are aware of their lack of wholeness, their brokenness, the simple fact that they don't have it all together." (The Ragamuffin Gospel) Wow. There is freedom in those words. For me.

Now He's working on abandonment. Mine. To Him. And then to others.

I kinda freak out over this. I'm not sure why. I have a suspicion that it's something to do with generational garbage that needs to be broken. Control issues. Self-sufficiency issues. Self-righteousness issues. There are plenty in my family of origin. So, I'm trying to go after this junk, in the power of the Spirit, and break down these strongholds that are robbing me of the joy and delight of abandoning myself to the Lord. And others. Even if I look unbecoming.

At some point, Randy Stonehill wrote a song that is just amazing. I'm including the lyrics because they make me cry. That's always a sign that I need to listen. They will make this post kinda long, but I'm going for it anyway. :)

Abandon Your Heart

Like a man who's lost his memory, we're caught in this calamity.
The truth of who we are is as distant as the stars.
So we paint our portraits in the dark and build this lonely house of cards--
But we're not sure what is real and we're aching to be healed.

And the hours that we cling to flow like water through our hands,
and we hear and see and think and feel,
but we never understand all the glory and the meaning of our days.

Abandon your heart and it will take flight.
Oh, it's beating like an angel's wings that longs for heaven's light.
Abandon your heart, just set it free.
The mighty love of God is calling, "Abandon your heart to Me."

We've deified (made gods of) our willfulness--our prison walls are made of this.
Our only hope awaits beyond those wicked gates.
We will go to almost any length to preserve this weakness we call strength.
But peace can never dwell in a house of infidels.

Then the fire of life burns in us, but its power is denied.
We are lost in frantic motion. We are never satisfied.
But I swear it does not have to be this way.

Abandon your heart and it will take flight.
Oh, it's beating like an angel's wings that longs for heaven's light.
Abandon your heart, just set it free.
The mighty love of God is calling, "Abandon your heart to Me."

And all these things we try to hold
only rob our thirsting souls and make us old.
But when we dare to let go at last,
we will finally know the joy that always eludes our grasp.

Abandon your heart, abandon your heart, abandon your heart, and it will take flight.
Oh, it's beating like an angel's wings that longs for heaven's light.
Abandon your heart, just set it free.
The mighty love of God is calling, "Abandon your heart to Me."

Girls' Day Out

We had a fun girls' day out on Saturday.

Jessie, Maggie, Elyssa (Jessie's best bud) and I went over to Wenatchee for Maggie to play a gig with Hank Cramer. She met him while on the Lady Washington last June during the 20-year anniversary party for the boat. She, Audra Poor and Steven Cummins played with Hank onboard the Lady at that time, and then Hank asked Maggie and Audra if they would be interested in laying down tracks for his latest album. So, they went to a recording studio in Tacoma last summer or fall, and played bodhran (pronounced "bar-on", sort of) and uilleann (pronounced "illin" as in chillin') pipes. Then they were asked to participate at this gig in Wenatchee. Fun day for all of us.

It looks as if there is more recording studio work in the offing, as well. Maggie - and Jessie, too - have been asked to help with the album of a friend of Hank's, who is recording his debut album. Maggie will be laying bodhran tracks and both the girls will be doing backup vocals.

Who knew?!

Maggie warming up her bodhran (Irish drum) before the gig.
With the dry climate over there, she had to wet
the head of her drum to loosen it up. It got pretty tight.

Jessie's best friend, Elyssa, visiting us from her new home in Texas.

Jessie getting a brief lesson on the hammered dulcimer.
It was love at first sight.

Audra on her uilleann pipes (Irish bag pipes).